Chapter 3 up on fanfiction.net

Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:41 pm

Well, I was gonna have this up at the end of last week to try and stick to the "one chapter a week" thing but whatever :heh

Lemme know what ya think

Chapter 2

update
Chapter 3

Last edited by Ravage on Wed Nov 12, 2003 3:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Mon Nov 10, 2003 3:06 pm

Hurrah! That's hella good. :china

I can't wait for the action!

Mon Nov 10, 2003 8:00 pm

Yeah same here. Can't wait for some more action. Judging from your awesome work on the less action scenes, the rest of your story is gonna be beyond awesome!

You work makes me want to write a Fan Fic, but I can't cause of stupid school. :cry

Maybe in the summer...

Wed Nov 12, 2003 7:39 am

You know you're a really talented story teller mate, I like the way you've got the detail down to a T

Just one question, You think Elise's loosened up now (Sorry Vivi, I know you hate her and all but I gotta ask) She didn't seem that miffed at all when that boy was starin at her when she got out the limo in the 1st chapter, In fact a smile and a wink?

Looks like she's finally lightened up it seems

Any way I wait in anticipation for the next chapter, u no when it's gonna be up?

Wed Nov 12, 2003 9:18 am

i've got a few ideas for chapter 3, but my schedule's pretty tight this week. If i don't get it finished up in the next 48 hours i should have one next monday or tuesday

thanks as always for the kind words everyone :china

edit: oh yeah, and as far as elise... i mean, the girl's a model. She's got a cold exterior but you have to believe that every once in a while she can laugh at the attention she gets. hence the smile and wink

Wed Nov 12, 2003 3:01 pm

well, sometimes it's good to make a liar out of myself

today at work I was left to my own devices for much of the day as I passively monitored a few programs running at client locations, so I took most of that time and cranked out a new chapter. hehe. enjoy, the link is in the original post at the top of this thread

Wed Nov 12, 2003 3:20 pm

Sorry, Ravage. I've been meaning to comment on your fanfiction for some time.

So far this is an excellent story! Your characterizations have been great (showing glimpses of Elise's more mischievous side is a nice touch). What I find most impressive is how well everything flows together. Both character interactions and the various scenes connect well and act out quite naturally.

Personally, I don't mind the lack of action in these beginning chapters. It's good to have a nice lead-in that paves the way for future chapters, subplots, and character interactions.

You're doing a really good job laying the introductory foundations for the story. Having Atomika introduce the characters to the new mountain via video clips - which, incidently, are the same ones we were shown as previews to the game - is an excellent tactic and really helps the reader to identify with the characters. We can better relate to their awe because most of us had similar impressions when we first saw the same videos.

Thanks for posting this story, Ravage! :china

Heheh, I started typing this post before you had updated. :heh

Now I see you have just put up chapter 3. Gotta go read it when I get the chance.

Wed Nov 12, 2003 4:32 pm

Arg!!! Still haven't gotten to reading your two new chapters Ravage, that's why I haven't said anything yet... but I'll get there soon, I promise!!!

So busy... @_@

Wed Nov 12, 2003 6:56 pm

The chapter 3 link isn't working
well, for me anyway...

Edit: Chapter 2 is not working either!

Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:24 pm

hmmmm... sorry bl00dy, don't know what to tell you. they work for me (and i think others as well) :???

anyone else know if fanfiction has something that may prevent bl00dy from seeing them?

Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:43 pm

Ravage wrote:anyone else know if fanfiction has something that may prevent bl00dy from seeing them?

Do you have anti pop-up software running, bl00dy? That could possibly interfer with trying to get on Fanfiction.net. Otherwise, I'm not sure what else to suggest. :???

Unfortunately, Fanfiction.net has had a nasty habit of acting up on occassion, temporarily preventing some users from accessing certain stories, chapters, or reviews.

Thu Nov 13, 2003 6:50 pm

it works for me now. keep it up ravage

Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:28 pm

Nice one Ravage! Great story.

Not to be mean, but in chapter 4, can you have more Griff in there? In chapter 3, all he did was do a 720 uber, and smile at Zoe. Could you, for us die-hard Griff fans like me?

Fri Nov 14, 2003 1:35 pm

I thought Zoe picks on Griff? Maybe he'd do something next in the race that Zoe will get mad at and she'll start picking on him. Great job Ravage, but you should try to make your chapters a bit longer.

Fri Nov 14, 2003 1:42 pm

Edged boarder wrote:Not to be mean, but in chapter 4, can you have more Griff in there? In chapter 3, all he did was do a 720 uber, and smile at Zoe. Could you, for us die-hard Griff fans like me?

all he did? i consider it pretty damn impressive someone can take their foot out of their binding for a jump in real life

hehe, honestly with the detail I like to go into, I like to keep a reader in some sense of reality so you prolly wont see anyone spinning their board around their neck a-la psymon or doing "the worm" on it like eddie. But don't worry, that doesnt mean I won't toe the line of what's possible

And as for griff getting more face time, I'm trying to keep an even spread on the characters. Sometimes a character might not get mentioned at all, sometimes i may focus almost exclusively on another. don't worry tho, you will definitely see more griff

and vivi, don't worry. the race was left in a cliffhanger for a reason re: your zoe comment :pimp

Fri Nov 14, 2003 4:12 pm

Ok, finally got around to reading them....

I'm dig’n your style! Trust me, it take a LOT to get me to read something, but I really enjoyed reading that. I can't wait to see more! When do you think ch 4 will be up?

And Vivi, I was thinking the same thing about Zoe and Griff... I wonder what's gonna happen between them...?