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PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:42 am  Post subject: Haze Saver  
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Hey guys. I'm starting to write a book called "Haze Saver" (I changed the title because I thought this was better). It's about certain teams (named after rocks) of people battling against each other, and one team suddenly has to face a ghostly figure that looks like one of them. It is taken in an alternative world, set in Bermuda, which is out of British territory now and ended up as it's own area. Because of technology and its massive use, people are going in unemployment, so they go to Bermuda, which is in this story "the only area that doesn't have taxes or bills". But, this place has its dangers as well. This is sort of my first chapter on it. Tell me if I need to add any humor on it, and if you can help me on that. I also need better names for these characters, because the names that I supply might suck. Any other reviews or feedback, you can post here. If you can add a little bit more zing to this story, post it. Enjoy :) .

Haze Saver

Chapter 1: Intermission


The light came closer as the wonders began to appear. The light surrounded the vision of the anonymous figure, and the speed of this figure had increased as the light became tighter.

"What could I do? Do I sustain my ideal personality, or do I disintegrate in my own mind?"

Red waves begin to appear. They pass by.

"Nothing can compare to this chaotic line that I am trapped in. The world would be secure, if this line wasn't here. Is it somehow possible that it can break in pieces sometime , even when the end comes?"

The red waves grow bigger. The darkness covers the waves. Movement disappears. Eyes appear. Big, scared, locked eyes appear. The surrounding is black. The face is blank.


The face is sucked up into the darkness. It screams as it is pulled away.

"When I'm part of the line, I am the line."

Eyes open, mouth sucking up one breath, still body.

"Wake up."

Proid obliged the young man, even though he was too tired to get up. He walked away back to the living room.

The young man slowly sat on the edge of his bed, yawning. The sleep marks on his arms and legs were deep, he noticed. He got up, and took a long shower before getting into a gray sweater and thin jeans. He walked to the living room, and fell on the leather couch next to Proid, who was eating an omelet.

"Shide, what's your deal?" a woman said, sitting down and positioning her legs on the living room table. "Are you having these constant I'm-gonna-die moments? You've been sleeping for 15 hours now, and…we're tired of it."

"Why even wake me up if we weren't gonna do s**t?"

"Like I said, WE'RE tired of it. Besides, you have your own s**t to do. It's your shift to get us all the food."

"Then how'd you get breakfast?"

"Already had it in the fridge." Proid cut in.

"Tren, stop your damn blabbering. We'll get what we need, but who said I was gonna get it." Shide said, immediately sensing a fight about to happen.

"We did!"


Tren calmed herself down. She knew that Shide was so stubborn almost all of the time, and she can't control it. She couldn't control it. She wouldn't control it. Silence.

"Whatever." Tren replied back.

When Proid finished his food, Shide knew what to expect. After putting his dish in the sink, Proid grabbed the keys to his new CABUTERm5, and threw them at Shide's head. "Here." he said, necessitating Shide to do as he asks. "You're driving. My hand got burned in that arson fire yesterday."

All Shide could do was give him a stern look before he got up from the couch.

The three drove in the new, quite pristine car across the area. The car refracted the light. 2030. An altered world.

Proid's cell phone rang. When he answered it, a house track could be heard in the car.

"Parrow…" Velzen thought.

"It should be Parrow." Shide said.

"Proid?" the voice known as "Parrow" said.

"I'm here."

"Tean Schist's headquarters was bombed. Looks like we're another step ahead….again."

"Great…but now we can't get their weapons or material now." Proid said in a seemingly sarcastic way.

"Yea…but they're jacked and screwed and their bodies exploded like blood balloons…so they can kiss our a-"

"I don't see how someone died is going to help us."

"Ugggghhh….just wanted to tell you…okay?"

"Whatever. We're going to your place for weapons."

Proid hung up the phone and sighed. Tren scooted up from the back seat. "What happened?"

"Everyone in Team Schist is dead."

"Haha. They were a bunch of idiots anyway. They couldn't do anything but shoot all over the place. One of them couldn't control the shotgun, and shot someone up the ass."

Shide smirked. "How did you know about that?"

"I was kidnapped, remember? I fell out our truck and got a road rash on my arm, and those guys randomly picked me up because they thought I was a sex slave."

Haha…you're right….besides you can't be one anyway…"

Tren didn't react. Shide was right. She was such a tomboy that she couldn't even be the right one to take to a bedroom and do "stuff" overnight. She, in her mind, would be the opposite. SHE would take someone to a bedroom overnight.

Shide looked out the window. Men. Women. Children. Walking across the streets. The futuristic world he is driving by. He couldn't even recognize it 20 years ago, when he was a baby. He had lived in a wooden cabin. He was very poor, and his endurance was very low.

His mother was very poor, and his father died-he poisoned himself. He couldn't handle his life. It was just so vague, and he had nothing to do with himself.

His mother was only 37 when she told Shide this statement…

"A camel always has something on its back, yet it can still move. You could have something on your back, yet you still would fall. Get that off of you…"

Shide didn't understand it at first, but now he did. In literal and helpful terms, a camel has a hump on his back, and could be sad about something, but it still would walk. Dolh could have something on his back, and he would still move, but if he had something aggravating him, he would deteriorate.

Shide had been in many cases like that, but got through them. But it got harder for him these days. He had been in tighter situations, and kept them in his head for days. His breaking point could come at any time.

Shide finally has his head on the street, along with the back of a car. He swerved left, shifting everyone in the car.


"Awww f***."

Minutes later, they came upon this building that seemed so old, close to crumpling. The three roomies got out of the car, and walked to the building.

"Okay, so we get the best of the best of these babies." Proid stated.

"Yea…the best of the best of driving." Tren added, referring to Shide, who gave her a odd and insulted look.

They headed to a seemingly old wall, and after touching it, a rusty elevator shows, and Proid punched in the code. No one should know the code, or else Parrow would have to blow the place up.

The elevator went down. This was one way to trick other people, because then they would take the stairs and be diverted.

After a couple of underground levels, they get off and walked through the alley. Full of graffiti. Full of mold and rust. Disgusting.

The next thing they come by is a door, and Tren knocked on it.


"This is Team Marble."

The door was unlocked, and the three went in.

The room was full of guns and other weaponry. Most of them make the room seem so dark. Then, a man with a blonde small spiky mohawk appeared.

"Sup, guys?" he said.

"Hey Parrow." Shide replied.

"I got this one ready for you guys." he said as he got out a SG 550 rifle for them. "I know it's been used a lot, and that's it's so original, but it's sort of like a spare, in case you guys run out."

"Okay." Proid replied.

"Plus, I needed to get rid of it."


"That's something I shouldn't say."


"Anyways, if you see something you like and want, give it to me."

Shide immediately spots something. Two pistols.

"What are these?" Shide asks.

"Two Taurus Millennium PT145s. You have a positive firing pin block in them, but….I don't think you should use these." Parrow said as he put the pistols back up."

Tren also spotted something. An obsidian shotgun. "Let me guess. A Benelli M4."

"Yep. Got it from a friend from Italy a few months ago."

"I'll take this then."

After a few minutes deciphering and collecting the guns they wanted, Parrow put them in a large opaque container, along with pistols, and sealed it. "We'll get 'em to ya." he said.

Parrow not only has a good way with world, but also a good way with transportation. He has his ideas of escaping danger, but Team Marble has to find a way of evading trouble together. Parrow's part of the group, but would dare not be in a team by himself if his team is gone.

Afterwards, the three companions went back to their car and drove off.


A black truck comes across the wrong way on the street. On it, eight people: Two in it, six on it. All in white masks and white clothing.

Ahead of them: another truck, but with people in red clothing.

One of the "white figures" got out a shotgun-a Benelli M4, and said "Come on, man!".

Another one- a SG 550 rifle.

The white figures started shooting at the other truck. The bullets spear into the truck, nearly causing it to tip. The other truck is doing the same thing. One of the "red figures" fell off the truck and got ran over by its wheels. Crushed body, dead life.

The truck with the white figures turned around. It was on full speed, and without hesitation, charged at them.

Another white figure threw a grenade at the truck, and another red figure tried to throw it back, but it was no use. The grenade exploded, and everyone fell off of the truck. The trick drove fast, and in front of it-a road bump. The truck stripped on it and skid off its wheels, and flipped off of the road, into a nearby mall. The wheels continued to roll, and roll, and slowly stop.


The other truck went the other way, and drove off before anyone noticed it. No license plate.

As they drove off, one of them pulled out a small walkie talkie, turned it on, and said one thing to it. "Team Slate is gone."


PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 10:13 am  Post subject: Re: Haze Saver  
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Joined: Sat May 29, 2010 1:16 am
Rank: Master
Location: York, United Kingdom
PSN: Kubi-ssx

This post was sponsored by my parents.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:48 pm  Post subject: Re: Haze Saver  
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 1:55 pm
Rank: Master
Long indeed.


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